Slaughterized

"Slaughterized" is a song off of the the Every Ape and His Brother album Elefante Elegante Interesante Importante. It is a parody of "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven.

History
"Slaughterized" was thought up spur-of-the-moment at a cafeteria around 8:00 PM EST in Big Rapids, MI. By around 8:30 PM that same evening of Monday, February 11th, 2008; the song was submitted to AmIRight.com.

Purpose
The song describes "every man's worst nightmare," that the girl in his past who was just using him will one day decide that if he is not an asset to her, then he is a liability. At this point, as the man fears, she will then decide that he needs to be savagely murdered. Therefore, he'd better watch his back, lest this girl he fears actually carries out the evil plans he imagines her having in store for him.

This song was inspired by a hairstylist in Evart, MI, whose utilitarian personality made her a near-perfect personification of the kind of woman that the song imagines would be capable of the horrendous acts described.

Lyrics
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Verse One
I lie here / so miserably! / By my / old femur; / No longer / attached to me! /

My ex-gal / is just no good! / She betrayed me! /

And now I'm / all bloodied up; / How rude! /

Her revenge has got to be; / Such insanity! /

Just 'cause I / couldn't help her!/

Her science grade / failed in pace! / So she takes it; / Out on my / bloodied face! /

First Chorus
She's left me / slaughterized; / With one / machete swipe / or two! /

And now I / just can't move; / My tibia's / missing! /

My body / matches; / What / her evil heart / can do! /

And now she / aims her shank; / So she can / run me through! /

Verse Two
I cough blood / for one minute; / And then notice: / I'm fading / off quickly! /

I'd fare better / in the hood! / Cause she broke / my heart; / And then punctured / my left lung! /

My remains / found hopefully; / Open-shut / the case! / That would be / great for me! /

I'm still here / in agony! / A cold, dark place! / I think it's / her freezer space! /

Second Chorus
She left me / slaughterized; / With one / machete swipe / or two! /

And now I / just can't move; / Because I'm / freezer burned! /

My body matches; / What her evil / heart can do! /

She aimed her / makeshift shank; / And then she / ran me through! /

[Instrumental Break]

[Repeat Second Chorus x 2]

Trail
'[Instrumental Break]

She aimed her / makeshift shank; / And then she ran me through! /

She aimed her / makeshift shank; / And then she / ran me through! /
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