List of supporting characters in Gored By Them Things

Gored By Them Things featured a pretty massive cast. The following is an overview of supporting characters that aided the "Fellowship of the Eucerin Tub" in their journeys.

Allies

 * Ass-Fell-Off, a.k.a., The Horse with No Rear-End, is Allywhat's personal horse. This horse was born with a strange medical condition that caused a portion of its posterior to rot and fall off.  After expensive surgery, the horse is given a synthetic bottom that is covered in part by a black-painted wooden sign with the word "Censored" written on it.  The Horse is the one that saves the day when Blotto is overtaken by the ring's power, and is also the one to rescue Blotto after the Nine Teddybears give him a concussion.
 * Parodies: Aspheloth


 * Allywhat is a monkey from the Monkey Tribe, the daughter of Chief Bananas, and a love interest to Apegorn. She rescues Blotto from the Nine Teddybears.  After that, she disappears into the background for a while.  Her horse breaks loose and somehow finds the Dumpster, where it punts Beetollum into the Iron Pit.
 * Portrayed by: Swinger&trade;, 10/22/04 model
 * Parodies: Arwen


 * Chief Bananas is the chief of the Monkey Tribe. He does little other than tell the members of the Fellowship what they already know.  When he dies, Apegorn takes over.
 * Parodies: Elrond


 * Cliff is a skinny giant who is friendly to Apegorn. He was portrayed by a dressed-up camera tripod.  Ironically enough, the Battle of Cliff's Chair had nothing to do with him, as "Cliff's Chair" is just a shorthand for "A-Cliff-is-a-Chair," the real name of the battle's location.  He was inspired by the mention of a character "Cliff" in the gangster video featuring in Home Alone 2.


 * Bunnywhat is a sassy rabbit living in the Kingdom of the Really Big Bunnies who helps Apegorn regain his strength after the Battle of Cliff's Chair.
 * Parodies: Éowyn


 * The Really Big Bunnies are a band of various large-sized animals, mostly bunnies, who wish to defend their kingdom from the double-threat of Rudwulfon and Smellyton. They end up getting help from Apegorn, Mallardius, and Skippy.
 * Note: One of the chipmunks in the bunnies' kingdom is clearly Dale from Disney's Chip and Dale.


 * Rar Rar Winks Bomberill is a fairly useless assistant to the Fellowship who appears briefly in a cameo. Parodies: Jar Jar Binks and Tom Bombadil


 * Louie is a beetle-sized penguin who lives inside a shop called "Louie's Leftovers" in the far back of the Caves of the Cuckoo-to-be-There, which can only be accessed by crossing the Grassless-Lands-of-Nobody's-Business. He is portrayed by a stamp, and talks like Yoda.


 * Unadriel is a wise and friendly unicorn who cheers up Blotto and Tacky when they're feeling down.
 * Portrayed by: R. Dakin & Co. 1982 Vintage White Unicorn w/White Mane
 * Parodies: Galadriel


 * //Del2Esc (pronounced: "Back-Slash, Back-Slash, Delete Two, Escape") is a droid that befriends Blotto off-screen at the end of the story. He is a parody of C-3PO.  His name is a reference to a joke that evolved from the OJ Simpson Trial concerning outcry against the verdict.


 * Dit-Dot-Bleep-Squeak is a droid who befriends Blotto at the end of the story. He gives Blotto a prosthetic right wing thumb to replace the one bitten off by Beetollum.  He is an obvious parody of R2-D2.


 * Random other creatures aid the cause of the heroes.

Villains

 * Rudwulfon is a hybrid between a wolf and a reindeer, and he is the creator of an evil magic ring that he plans to use to aid him in conquering the world. He loses track of it and panics, sending evil minions all over the world to figure out what happened to it and recover it before it gets trashed, which would kill him because he bound himself to it.  He was portrayed by a singing toy Rudolph with a Halloween wolf mask covering its face.
 * Parodies: Sauron, Rudolph


 * The Nine Teddybears are servants of Rudwulfon that attack with senseless violence. They try to rescue the ring from Blotto, but are interrupted by Apegorn and Allywhat.
 * Portrayed by: Numerous models of Beanie Baby teddy bears, including the Princess&trade; model created in 1997 in commemoration of Princess Diana.
 * Parody: The Nazgul


 * Smellyton is an oversized gnome who is something of an evil counterpart to Captain Rum.
 * Parodies: Saruman


 * Beetollum is a beetle that wants the ring for himself. He appears out of nowhere and bites off Blotto's right wing thumb near the end of the story, announcing who he is and taunting the heroes that he won and they lost.  He is then punted into the Iron Pit by the Horse with No Rear-End, who also appears out of nowhere.
 * Parodies: Gollum


 * Spider-Snake is a snake that can shoot webs from its mouth. It tries to web-up and devour Blotto and Tacky, but is eaten by the Tubular.
 * Parodies: Shelob, Spider-Man


 * The Tubular is a tube-shaped monster that lives in the Caves of the Cuckoo-to-Be-There, and eats nearly everything that gets in its way. It wants to eat Blotto and Tacky, but instead saves them from the Spider-Snake.  Before it too can devour them, they escape.


 * Elvis Dogs are servants of Smellyton who are tone deaf and sing Elvis tunes off-key to demoralize the enemy.
 * Parody: Wargs


 * Dark Jacket is a legless giant with a lightsaber that threatens to crush the Monkey Tribe. He is defeated in battle by Apegorn.
 * Parodies: Darth Vader


 * Giant Wiener Dog is an oversized dachshund monster that attacks the Fellowship right before they disband. He is eventually defeated by Apegorn and Mallardius after threatening to kill Blotto.
 * Parodies: The Cave Troll


 * Pengrog - The Pengrog is a gigantic and aggressive penguin monster. After being sucked up a vacuum slot inside a cave while battling Captain Rum, it finds itself being beat to submission.  Afterwards, it becomes an aid to the Easter Bunny.
 * Parodies: The Balrog, The Bumble


 * Terra-Cotta-Kai are soldiers that look like China's Terrcotta Army. They are sent by Smellyton to harass the Fellowship.  Apegorn chops off the leader's head with a giant hairpin.
 * Parody: Uruk-hai, Terracotta Army

Honorable mention: Jean-Claude
The water monster Jean-Claude never wound up in the end production. It would have been a parody of the Watcher in the Water, as Lord of the Rings fans have often on forums named the Watcher "Jean-Claude."

This joke was first perpetuated by LordOfTheOnionRings@EZBoard users Hobbitmum and ArtemisArcheress. The latter came up with the idea of naming the water monster "Jean-Claude" and gave Hobbitmum the monster's cousin, "Pierre," as a forum signature "pet." Artemis has been using this joke since.

Note: There was a jellyfish in the original version of the Wiener Dog scene.

Cameos
In the death scene of Chief Bananas before he is about to die and be cremated, several crowd around him. Among those present at the "funeral" are Detective Hooper and Gambino Penguin from Kings in the Corner.