"Doughboy" is a song from the Every Ape and His Brother collection Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!!. It is a parody of Kid Rock's song "Cowboy."


This song was written numerous times, first of these being in 1999. It was performed live at the Ferris State University Recreation Center's Midnight Madness event held during the Fall 2006 semester. Instead of being about a wannabe pimp in the west, it's about the Pillsbury Doughboy bragging about himself.


The song achieved instant popularity on the campus of Ferris State, and random requests for it have occurred ever since.


* * *The following is a list of lyrics to a song. * * *


[Robot voice:] Doughboy... / Doughboy... /

[Instrumental break and lead-in]

Verse One

Well I'm snackin up my game / and I'm a making a boast... /
That I come equipped to make you / the very best toast! /

Find a crust in the fridge; / make a nice biscuit. /
Buy a little can; / it's way better than the Bisquick! /

And I'm, Poppin' Fresh, / up and down your block! /
With a thermometer, / you just know that I rock! /

Make baklava with toothpicks; / 'cause your eating the most... /
While you poke my little belly; / I'm as white as a ghost! /

Have a taste just for fun, / gobble the carbs! /
Get to makin' a mix, / much on M&M bars! /

You know that you wanna / out on the roam! /
I'm the best toaster pastry / in your whole dang home! /
Start a bakery service / for all the right reasons! /
Keep you plumped on me, / for all the year's four seasons! /

Pop-Fresh / and I'm the flour guy! /
And your weddin' cake is ME / sucker! / Because you guessed it, / I'm the.../

Makin' biscuits till the sun stops shining!!!/!/
Better tastin'; and you know that's fine!!!/
I gonna be the!/
Makin' better food for the night or day!/!/
I can bake a cake and ship it miles away!/

[Smoke detector goes off]

Verse Two

I bet you'll hear my cookies growin' when the tray goes in.../
It goes (sizzle) and you know my taste wins!/

Overbaked? Don't freak! You're not yet in a grind!/
It still tastes better, hope that eases your mind!/

Palm trees, deep freeze, everywhere I taste nice!/
So just gobble on my munchies, I'm your gluttony vice./

And if you slice it right; I'm gonna bake my best boy!/
And let Oregan-aye folks know why they still call me.../

(Repeat Chorus)

[Smoke detector goes off]

Verse Three

Yeah!!!... can shout who-hoo!!!!!! /
Rollin' lotsa suzette with lots of joy inside you! /

Seen a Pop Tart in the pantry, / that makes me / wanna faint! /
Are you crazy dude? / You're better off / drinkin' paint! /

Need a tasty little way to absorb life's remorse? /
I feel good in the throat, when you're voice is all hoarse... /

Choose me over Kellog's, cause that's only just right. /
Any other in you, is a digestion blight! / Ugh! /

You'll like my taste, / yes you'll love it a bunch! /
Guess what, / have you heard? / I'm bigger than Cap'n Crunch! /

Sack of flour, / gone in one hour; /
Along with the water; / and a ton of baking powder... /

Why they wanna pick on me? /
Cause I just taste better, / don't you see? /

I ain't no half-bake / but a geniune treasure! /
And they envy me boys, / cause I am the new measure! /

I am pure pleasure... / that's why I make them sick! /
And their chance / to compete with me / is UP A CRICK!!! /

I'm waving my hat up and down that coast and; /
Keep on wa-hooin' / while you're oven's roastin'!!! /

Final Chorus

Doughboy!!! /
Makin' biscuits till the sun stops shining... /

Doughboy... /
Better tastin'; and you know that's fine! /

Doughboy... /
Makin' better food for the night or day. /

Doughboy... /
I can bake a cake and ship it miles away... /

Doughboy... /
Makin' biscuits till the sun stops shining... /

Doughboy... /
Makin' biscuits till the sun stops shining... /

Doughboy!!! /

(Wa-hoooo!!!!!!!!) /

Lyrics © 2006 Dozerfleet Records.

See also

Morbid! The Horrendous Hobo!!! (2007)
# Title
1 The Only Resort
2 Why She Said "Seven Days"
3 Phantasmic
4 Doughboy
5 Ridiculous
6 Lower!!!
7 They'll Claw You Open
8 The Hundred-Acre Woodland Massacre
9 This Feels Obscene, It's an Earthquake
10 Let the Elements Shine Down